When AI meets coffee mugs: battling ChatGPT, ITIL and the universe

This article was created with the AI assistant ChatGPT and published by Peter Hoenig.

Of one who went forth to write a blog – and very nearly lost his mind along the way.

Chapter 1: The first command – or: "Just whip up a blog."

It began the way so many stories begin: with a brilliant idea and a slightly excessive dose of coffee. I – a person of ambition, intellect and unshakeable faith in technology – had decided to finally give my blog a proper overhaul. Professional, easy to understand, with humour. And with an artificial intelligence at my side. What could possibly go wrong?

I typed: "Please create a blog post about ITIL 4. For decision-makers in SMEs. With icons, infographics and at least five easy-to-understand sentences on each practice."

The AI thought for a moment. And kept on thinking. And delivered … a table.

Chapter 2: The misunderstanding – or: "Did you go to Excel school or something, you tin can?"

The first answer was – how shall I put it – disappointing. No icons, no images, not even a lonely arrow or a single bit of humour. I took a deep breath and wrote politely (well, almost politely): "Not as a table, please, but as a fully fledged blog text." What I got was … another table.

I felt like Douglas Adams' Arthur Dent being handed a Swiss Army knife instead of a towel – with the instructions in Klingon.

Chapter 3: The battle with the graphics engine – or: "Make me a picture. No, not that kind of picture!"

At some point it dawned on the AI that I am a visual person. So it started producing "infographics". The first attempt looked as if someone at IKEA had mixed up the assembly instructions for a bookcase with the manual for quantum entanglement.

I wrote: "Phase 4 is called Information Systems Architecture, and phase 7 is missing! You accidentally numbered phase 8 twice!"

The AI responded with a new graphic in which phase 4 was now called "Regimpance" and phase 7 had been interpreted as "forming a coalition with Martians". I googled "Regimpance" – and found a cross between a form of government and a dancing primate. That could not be a coincidence.

Chapter 4: The 34 practices – or: "Can you actually count?"

Then came the part about the "practices". 34 of them. I asked for at least five sentences on each one. Easy to understand. For laypeople. With examples. And in blog form, please, not as a list or as an application for ISO 9001 certification.

The AI nodded (presumably inwardly) – and delivered: two sentences. Per practice.

I repeated my request. I stressed how important it was. I turned on the charm. Then I was politely firm. Then very direct. Finally loud. And at some point … resigned.

Chapter 5: The satirical blog – or: "Make me laugh, you metalhead."

At some point I had a flash of inspiration: "We've produced so much rubbish together by now – why don't we turn the whole thing into a satirical post?"

The AI, suddenly inspired, wrote a genuinely funny text. Only, unfortunately … in English. And with a single image in which an avatar was screaming: "WHY?!"

Epilogue: Conclusions from a campaign fought with humour

Today, many hours and coffees later, I have not only brushed up my knowledge of ITIL but also learnt how to measure patience in binary units.

I now know that "practice" is an irregular noun which, depending on its mood that day, comes with anywhere between two and zero descriptions. I know that an AI can label images in any language – except German. And I know that laughter is sometimes the only right tool in the toolbox when everything else is raining down from the cloud.

May your next blog post be shorter, your prompt clearer and your AI assistant in a better mood.

And if you are seriously interested in ITIL, EAM and other topics, visit my blog or my website, or send me an e-mail at peter.hoenig@my-coaching4you.de.